To Reveal What's Already Known
by rachel6564
Summary: Merlin's scars are revealed when a Gawain unwittingly discoverers something Merlin has been hiding. Gawain hatches a plot for Merlin to reveal what is going on and what is upturned none of Merlin's closest friends could ever guess.


Secrets are as complex or as simple as you make them out to be – just like life. Everyone tells you: "YOU have a _choice!_ ". Truth of the matter is sometimes you do sometimes you don't. Sometimes its up to you, sometimes its up to others. Today my secrets were laid wide open with my simple dirty laundry, a washing board, and of course, poor judgment.

Three days earlier:

"MERLINNNNNN!"

Merlin ran for his life with long lanky legs and his loud mischievous laughter could be heard throughout the castle. The commotion brought many stares from newer servants. The older more experienced helpers smiled good-naturedly. A rampaging Arthur followed. Merlin much more accustomed to the castles passageways then Arthur lost him by ducking into one of the servants tunnels. He hid as Arthur passed barely stifling his laughter. Just another day in the strange friendship; to which neither would admit that they had, between the Royal and the Manservant.

Merlin was simultaneously washing clothes and polishing armor – part of the long list of chores Arthur gave him after the whole fiasco earlier – when Gawain entered the chamber. Naturally, he had been drinking ale... or that is what Merlin thought. In actuality Gawain noticed something in the servant. The other day he saw Merlin with his sleeves rolled up as he was washing clothes, a rare sight indeed, and what Gawain saw on Merlin skin was what looked to be scars left by shackles. He wasn't sure but he needed to check. So he plotted...

"Merlin I need a favor."

The servant in question answered hesitantly, "Yes?".

"Don't worry."

Merlin gave the iconic Gaius eyebrow raise.

"Don't give me that! I promise it's nothing bad."

Merlin went back to cleaning, "Is this going to be like the time you asked me to give a note to the girl you liked and she ended up attacking me screaming bloody murder?"

"No nothing like that!"

"Sure."

"Well kind-of like that but without the bloody murder part. I need you to go on a double date with me!"

Merlin thought about this for a moment. It had been a long time since Freya's death and while he didn't think he was ready to move on he figured a meeting the girl Gawain had in mind wouldn't hurt. Arthur kept bugging him about never having a girlfriend. If a there was even the slightest chance that meeting with this girl would shut him up he was going to take it.

"I'll go."

Gawain then started his long speech of why Merlin should come along due to his sureness that Merlin would have said no, "Merlin don't be like that! You haven't even met the girl, how do you know she is the one for you?! You need to get out more – wait did you say yes?"

Merlin was bursting with laughter. "I said yes!"

"Oh."

The look on Gawain's face made Merlin laugh even more.

"Oh shut up mate!"

Merlin's laughter quieted, "So when is this happening?"

"Tonight! At the tavern!"

"I should have known."

This was the first step in Gawain's master plan. By getting Merlin on a date he would have to look nice. This meant insulting Merlin's clothes and making him change into something nice from the castle that he has from being a knight. Merlin would change shirts Gawain would peek and he would know once and for all if the scars he saw from a distance was true! If this didn't work he would just get Merlin really drunk. Then spill something nasty on his shirt. Drag him home and take off his shirt to get him a new one (as a great friend would). He would just have to avoid Gaius. To do that he would send a fake note saying there was a mother giving birth in the lower town to send him on a wild goose chase. He realized it was a bit sneaky and Gaius would kill him; but, he knew Merlin. Merlin would divert all his questions gracefully and with great haste and he would never get an answer. In Gawain's mind this was the only way.

Merlin had a feeling there was something else behind Gawain "favor", but he thought better of it and assumed Gawain was just really into another girl. He passed the day with more of Arthur's chores and ended the work day on a fairly good note.

"Merlin have you done everything I asked you to!"

"Yep! Armor polished, stables mucked out, shoes shined, room cleaned, wardrobe fixed, speech written, now if your royally prat-ness decides to be anymore of a prat I'm afraid you'll have to ask George because I have a date! Bye!"

Just as Merlin closes the door a goblet hits it, effectively avoided by Merlin.

Arthur is baffled, "A date? Merlin?"

Just then Gwen enters the room.

"What's this about a date?"

"Clumsy never-shows-any-interest-in-girls-Merlin has a date!"

"Oh that's wonderful! When is the date?"

Gwen smiles, since Merlin was the one who helped her and Arthur get together she found it only natural that to repay him she would help his love life. She had a passionate glint in her eye, the glint that every man fears, it's the look girls get when they get to dress up a guy.

Arthur shivered, "It's tonight. He left before I could ask him anything else."

Gwen's smile grew, "Honey, I have to go. I'll see you in the morning."

Again Arthur was baffled, "What is this world coming to?!"

Merlin began to look at his wardrobe. He had his usual shirts, pants, boots, and, of course, neckerchiefs to choose from. Merlin decided on a red shirt with his brown jacket and a blue neckerchiefs. He quickly ran around his room searching for spies as one might look around one's room for insects. He then glanced out the door and made sure no one was around. Since he had gained his scars Merlin had been extremely overprotective of who saw any part of him. He knew it was kind of ridiculous, but with the secrets he had, he was terrified of what might happen if anyone saw. Usually he felt safer since Gaius would stop anyone from entering the chamber from accidentally, or purposefully barging into his room – cough, cough, Arthur – but Gaius was helping a maiden give birth in the lower town. On a normal day Merlin would have to say behind to help anyone needing medical assistance; but Gaius knew Merlin had a date so he asked a servant he knew to cover the medical area, and told him if anything popped up, to send a message to both himself and Merlin right away. That being said, the servant had not arrived yet, and Merlin was free to change in peace.

Both Gwen and Gawain reached the door to the physician's chamber at the same time. The quickly conversed: Gwen excited to get Merlin ready and Gawain excited and nervous to see what Merlin keeps hidden. They, for there own reasons decided to sneak into Merlin's room. They tip-toed to the door, quiet as mice, just as an unsuspecting Merlin pulled his shirt off. Then suddenly Gwen and Gawain both barged into the room. What they saw surprised them both. They saw that Merlin was fully dressed and actually looking quite decent.

Merlin on the other hand nearly jumped out of his skin, "What the heck are you doing barging into my room?"

Gawain, blunt as ever, replied, "We were just planning to give you some help with your fashion, but looks like you got it covered"

Gwen replied with a squeal, "You actually look nice!"

"I can dress myself unlike Arthur."

At the mention of the well-known argument subject, laughter filled the room.

Gawain placed a hand on Merlin's shoulder telling him seriously, "I think it's time."

Merlin equally as seriously looked at Gawain "good luck" and the two were off to the tavern.

Gwen just shook in head in good-humor and headed back to Arthur.

Merlin and Gawain had reached the tavern, a loud rambunctious sort of place full of all sorts of people. They walked up to their respective dates; Gawain kissing his ladies hand whereas Merlin gave his signature grin. The girls were delighted. Loud tavern music along with alcohol gave way to many laughs and dancing between the couples; at least until one of the fathers showed up. Then it took a drastic turn for worse.

A gruff, drunk, and angry looking man split between Gawain and his daughter, "Who the hell is you?"

Merlin gave Gawain a fearful glance, "Sir Gawain here with this lovely lady"

Said lady giggled. The father got extremely irritated and threw a punch at Gawain. Gawain's face smashed into the table behind him as the girls ran off.

Merlin ran over to a dazed Gawain holding his right temple. "Gawain!"

The father soon grabbed Merlin by the scruff, "Are you friends with this man?"

Merlin gave a high-pitched quiet "No?"

"Thought so..." The drunk man then proceeded to through punches at Merlin. One jab at his stomach one to his head. The man had on a sharp ring causing Merlin to be stabbed with the bunch in the gut. Merlin fell to the ground just a Gawain tackled the man. A full tavern fight had commenced at this point and no one was safe; whether it be from flying plates to flailing extremities to chairs and tables. Gawain effectively smashed a bottle on the head of the man angry with him, turned, grabbed Merlin and dragged him outside the tavern. They didn't stop till they were a good distance away.

Merlin was upset and holding a hand to his wound, "What the hell Gawain? Can't we go to a tavern to once in our lives and not get attacked by angry drunk people?"

Gawain pouted, smiled and said, "Nope."

Merlin looked at Gawain annoyed and then burst out laughing. Gawain joined in at least until he noticed Merlin's stomach was bleeding. He then looked Merlin over. He was pale as a sheet, hair matted with blood and looked about to fall over. He helped support Merlin, "We need to get you patched up."

Gawain quickly brought Merlin to the castle, for it was the closest place for medical supplies. He sent the boy that was covering for Merlin and Gaius as a messenger for the knights, Arthur and Gaius. Gawain was really upset as he laid a barely conscious Merlin on the cot. _This is all my fault! Why did I believe this would all work out? And I made sure the best_ _physician_ _was far away. Great job me!_

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

Just then the boy he had sent to give the message returned, "The knights and King Arthur are on their way! I sent another messenger to get Gaius as quick as possible."

"Thank you"

Just then the rest of the round table appeared, Percival, Leon, Lancelot, Arthur, and Elyan, along with a worried Gwen. She rushed to Merlin's side and gasped when she saw the wound, "Merlin!". She quickly began to but her medical knowledge to work.

"Percival, get me a bucket of water. Elyan, get clean cloth. Gawain, help me get his tunic off so we can treat the wound."

Everyone did as they were ordered. Gawain scoffed and he helped Gwen, _seems like I'll find out what Merlin is hiding after all._ He immediately felt guilty for thinking that. His best friend was bleeding out on a table and here he was selfishly thinking that he would finally unravel some secret of Merlin's.

Arthur walked towards Gwen, "Will he be alright?"

"I-I don't know Arthur, but we have to believe that he will pull through just as he has with all of us."

Merlin smiled eyelids fluttering, "I haven't died yet with all the times I've saved your royal arse."

Arthur looked at Merlin solemnly and with worry, "Save your breath you idiot."

"When do I ever listen"

The knights returned with medical supplies. Gawain took out his knife and began to try to cut away at Merlin's shirt as Gwen held cloth to the bleeding wound. Merlin weakly grabbed at Gawain's hand before he began to cut his shirt away.

"I really like this shirt, do you have to cut it off?"

"I think I do mate." Gawain made to cut open the shirt but Merlin stopped him again. The rest of the onlookers gave a confused glance.

Lancelot put a hand on Merlin's shoulder realizing that by revealing his chest he would reveal much more then his skin. He bent down so he could look Merlin in the eye, "Merlin I know how loyal you are to Camelot, and so does everyone else here, I think it's about time you put some trust in your friends and whatever happens know that I will protect you." Merlin looked at Lancelot and gave a slight nod, closed his eyes and laid his head back, finally giving up the battle of keeping his head up. Gawain gave Lancelot a confused look, saved his questions for later, and turned to the more important task. He cut away Merlin's shirt revealing much more than anyone expected.

There were scars, so many scars. The pious amount accumulated over the years of serving Arthur were finally revealed. There were gasps and after a moment, when they realized the pain he must have endured to get skin to look as horrific as his, there where tears. Shocked faces stared at the wrinkled mutated flesh in front of their eyes. Anyone could tell he was tortured, these scar were absolutely not from Merlin's character trait of clumsiness. He looked to have been, shackled, burned, whipped, stabbed, and so much more. There was a massive circular burn on the front of his chest from who-knows-what? There where scars that made it look like someone had tried to slit his throat.

Quiet Percival looked ready to cry. Gwen was crying. Lancelot looked on sadly also surprised, Merlin had never let him see but he knew with him protecting Arthur like he does with that "I will give my life" attitude he was bound to get hurt and have scars. Leon never knew anyone could have scars that told the story of wounds that would have killed or severely handicapped any normal person. Arthur was upset, angry anyone would harm Merlin.

Just then Gaius rushed into the room and quickly got to Merlin, "Oh my boy. Not again." He looked around assessing the situation, due to Merlin's magic the wound had already almost stopped bleeding; but, he needed room to work, and Merlin's friends may have been trying to help but they would only get in the way now.

"Everyone out now!"

Gawain wanted to help, "Can we –"

"OUT!"

Everyone rushed out of the room, Percival being last gently closed the door behind him as Gaius turned his attention to heal Merlin. Everyone stayed right outside the door, no one wanting to leave. There was a tense silence.

Arthur glared at Gawain, "How did this happen?!"

Gawain went on to explain the whole fiasco, from the point where he had seen something that resembled scared wrists right up to the point of getting out of the tavern and bring Merlin back to the castle.

Arthur was livid, "You thought that was a good plan?! You idiot!"

Gawain shouted in response, "Me idiot? You're the idiot! You didn't even notice something was wrong and you see him more than anyone!"

Gwen at this point saw the need to take control so Arthur wouldn't kill his friend. "Arthur calm down! Gawain was just trying to be a good friend and you know how secretive Merlin is! I know you're not mad at Gawain, but at the situation. You can't let that cloud your judgment!"

Arthur calmed down with slow deep breaths, "You're right Guinevere," then with a small smile, "you're always somehow right."

Gwen looking Arthur in the eyes with a matching smile said, "I know."

Inside the room with Gaius a much different argument was commencing.

Merlin was panicking, "Gaius, they saw! They saw! I don't want to burn, I don't want to die."

Gaius placed both of his knobby hands on his ward's shoulders effectively pinning down Merlin to the cot so his thrashing wouldn't injure him, "I know, and my boy, _you are not going to burn_. You have wonderful friends that care about you, and Lancelot knows and will protect you. Do you understand?"

Merlin had visibly calmed, "Yes I do."

"Good, Let's get you sewn together again then."

Merlin groaned but with a smile, "Not again!"

Gaius laughed, "If you don't want a needle in your side, then don't get hurt!"

After quickly sewing the wound closed after cleaning it, swabbing it with a medical mixture and wrapping it in gauze, Merlin wanted to see the group. Merlin gathered his courage, this was the moment. He once came upon a spell that would share feeling and emotions with those around the caster. It was dangerous, only for the most powerful. One had to be absolutely sure what they wanted to show and to whom. For if the caster was not, there would be great consequences.

"Fine, but don't you dare reopen that wound or you'll be cleaning the leech tank for a month!"

Merlin was terrified, "I promise!"

Just then Gaius opened the door with a tired smile, "You all can see him now."

The knights, Arthur, and Gwen filled the room in silence, making a semi-circle around Merlin who was propped up on his elbows shirt off.

Lancelot was first to speak, "How are you feeling?"

"Dandelion-y!"

Elyan laughed, "Dandelion-y?"

"You know they're fluffy flowers and white and – "

Gawain interrupted, "Mate I think he knows what they are."

Merlin gave his best impression of an evil glare, except it wasn't very convincing when he was grinning ear to ear, "Making fun of my word choice are you? May I remind you of all the beautifully crafted words I made to describe the clot poll here?"

There was a pause and everyone burst out in rambunctious laughter. It soon quieted and a pleasant silence filled the room. The light happiness on Merlin's face faded and his tone became serious, "I know you all have some major questions" he gestured to his chest, "but before you ask I need you to listen and keep and open mind unlike Arthur..."

"Hey!"

"I need you to know that what I'm about to show you; you won't be happy about it, heck you may even execute me..."

There was a great out cry of "Never" and "What?!" and other dismissive terms.

"Shhh!" The clamor paused, the scene felt like the calm before the storm.

Merlin's eye's were desperate and definitely pleading he looked at Arthur, "I need you to listen."

Arthur nodded. Merlin looked everyone in the eye making sure they understood his earnestness.

"My life, it was simple, it was small and happy and painful. This was my childhood; but the only thing you need to know from my childhood is that I never had a choice, I was never given the option of stopping, it is a part of me as much as breathing."

Gwen stared at Merlin thinking of what he said, _"Heck you may even execute me"._ She thought back even further when her father was saved, she thought back to all the times Arthur told her of the team's luck: miraculous falling branches, skillful bandits tripping over their own to feet, and Merlin hiding away where no one could see the light behind the curtain.

Gwen gasped, a hand flying to her face to express her surprise, "Merlin you have..." then she stopped herself, this was Merlin's secret to share.

Merlin turned and look and Gwen a gave her a small nervous smile. Gwen knew Merlin well. With that look she could tell he was in a state of pure terror. She ran to his side, hugging him tightly.

After a moment of stifling her tears she spoke softly, "Merlin don't you dare be scared of us, we are your friends forever and always, I need you to understand that."

Merlin whispered back; quiet and broken, "You don't hate me?"

"No I don't and no one here could."

The surrounding people couldn't have heard a word of what was said, but when Gwen lifted her head tears were threatening to fall from the servant that they all loved as a brother. At this point Percival had deduced what Merlin was trying to share.

Percival spoke his next words gently, "Merlin", everyone turned to face the demure knight, "I think it's time."

Merlin nodded took a deep breath, everyone watched carefully as he began, " _ **G**_ _ **adael fy teimladau ac atgofion yn dod i'r amlwg!"**_

Suddenly everyone felt as if their souls had left their bodies and entered Merlin's. They saw all his grief, all his suffering, every minute of pain; they saw as he called the upon the power no man should know and how terrified it made him. They saw the beautiful truth of how Merlin cared for every life, no matter whom, and how truly pure his heart was. They saw how much he cared for his mother, his friends, his king and kingdom. They saw his loneliness. They saw him; a being of the Old Religion full of magic; wonderful magic. They realized in that moment magic was not evil, the only evil was in the hearts of men.

Almost as if pulled by some invisible force they retracted as if time had gone backward from their original path. They did not loose their memories of what they saw or how they felt; when returned they would still have the knowledge of what magic truly was, however, Merlin was not ready to share what he had been through, even if he was ready to share his magic. As they returned the true feelings that Merlin wanted to share stayed in their souls; magic was not evil, life was beautiful, and that _Merlin was magic._ They returned to their bodies as the memories of every detail of pain and suffering on Merlin's behalf was cleanly cut away and given back to Merlin. What was left: Merlin was Magic, Magic was not evil, Merlin cared for Camelot, for his loved ones: Arthur, Hunith, Gaius, Lancelot, Gawain, Gwen, Freya, Will, Percival, Elyan, Leon, and all so many more, for his heart was ever expanding for the beauty of simple things in life. Whether it be a little girl who gave him a flower in kindness or a headstrong boy brave and wanting to fight for good, he would use his magic for them so they could work their own unique beautiful magic.

Just before the spell ended it's reign, Magic gave Merlin one last gift; a gift it did not particularly enjoy. Memories of Merlin's scars were locked away, hidden from prying eyes till Merlin was ready to choose to disclose them. A new shirt materialized and Merlin's scars were covered. Magic's work was done for the day.

The knights all awoke with a start, breathing heavily. Gwen took a slow deep breath. She slowly rised and pulled up a chair. Arthur did the same, pulling his chair close to Merlin's cot.

Arthur took a slow calming intake of air, "You have magic?"

Merlin smiled, "A bit slow are we?"

The laugh died on tense lips. Arthur embraced Merlin with silent tears flowing down that could drown mountains. He gently pulled back from the embrace, looking at a tired brave young friend that somehow for years stayed hidden right under a massive castle that despised all that he was. Lived with a stuck-up prince that wanted nothing to do with him in the beginning, somehow worming himself into his heart like only a strange farm-boy who was secretly Magic could.

Arthur gave a full-belly, relieved laugh, "You are such an idiot!"


End file.
